Watford New Hope Trust

For the last 8 years I've been in and out of hostels. When my marriage broke down I had to sell the marital home and move in with my Dad for a while. Then the alcohol took over. I ended up in rehab but half way through I found out that my wife was dying of CJD. I stuck it out but with the full intention to self destruct. When I got out of that place I drank from day one. I lost my flat, split up from my new partner and I was on the streets. The next year I came to New Hope House. I was clean from alcohol for 9 months but I was gambling and self harming towards the end so they had to ask me to leave.

I just wanted to die
I was homeless then for two and a half years, in and out of the night shelter. I slept rough down Queens Road, in graveyards, anywhere secluded. My main aim was to die. I tried one serious suicide attempt but that failed. I was in the night shelter again and I had got so bad that my only option was to go to rehab or die. I just couldn't drink enough to numb the pain and then I realised I didn't really want to die anymore.

I got another chance to change
By thirty, I had lost my love, my home and nearly my life. People would tell me they believed in me but I had to believe it myself. It's the constant encouragement from the staff that has given me hope. It's only now that I can see what the Trust does. The fact that they never turn you away, even when you've been here many times before, means you get another chance to change.

After rehab I came back to Watford and was able to get a place in New Hope House. I am now waiting to get my own flat. I want to volunteer for the Trust in the future and I've been part of the Editorial Team for this year's Annual Report.